Unconditional Or Unintentional?

I wanted to take the opportunity this episode to delve deeper into the topic of love. But not just any love, y'all. I'm talking unconditional love. Similar to boundaries. The idea of loving unconditionally is often misused and ultimately misunderstood. Like, everybody claims to want it, right? But do we truly know what to do with it once we get it? I mean, do we even deserve it? Is it even truly possible? Or is it merely a romanticized notion that carries hidden dangers like everything else in life?

So whether it be in regards to yourself or someone else, let's take an abstract look, shall we? The concept of unconditional love is an interesting one, no doubt, and I can't help but draw the connection from last episode on boundaries because it's also something that's so often thrown back in your face when it's time to draw boundaries. Right? It's as if no matter what your partner does or no matter what their motivations, you're just supposed to be there for them. And if you don't, your love is deemed sometimey or conditional or not real. It's funny, though, because the topic also came up in the last season of this show I used to watch. You may have heard of it. It's called Ozark, right? Of all places. If you haven't seen it, it's on Netflix, and you're definitely missing out. And no spoilers, but if you've seen it, you know, we, the viewers, are witnessing real time this kind of bizarre relationship between main characters Wendy and Marty, and you're left wondering why Marty puts up with everything. Even Wendy got to a point where she herself is wondering why he sticks around. Eventually, Marty sort of draws a line at saying his love for her is unconditional. But it took me a while to understand that maybe a long time ago, before life chewed my *** up and spit me out, I would have described the kind of love I wanted to find in my life as being unconditional. But honestly, I don't think that's accurate for most of us, and it's probably not even healthy. But Marty's version is what keeps a lot of relationships going. I ask myself then, is Marty really happy loving this way? More likely, he just can't see his life going any other way at that point. I mean, it is what he is now. It's what he does. I get that, but that it is what it is mentality can be dangerous, though. It's just one of those all or nothing deals. You know, the take it or leave it. And, you know, we just talked transactions a couple episodes back, give and take. So we know most people tend to just take what they're given or offered.

To me, that's one of the biggest flaws with this mentality of love being unconditional. It perpetuates the idea that no matter what you do to me, I'm going to take it or accept it because I love you. And that's pretty messed up, right? I know you're probably like, duh, Amber, the whole thing's messy. And you're right, man. People are messy. Love is messy. But as a person who's previously given their all in situations that don't serve them, I can tell you firsthand that doing anything without restrictions or limitations is essentially a recipe for disaster. Ever heard of too much of a good thing? It's like we're kids in a candy store. Love feels great, just like candy tastes great. But there needs to be limits or you'll end up sick.